Okay so today is at the top of the list of "bad days" for me. I woke up in the morning to realize that after taking 2 laxatives, Metamucil and Flaxseed oil that I was still constipated. I thought that I was going to die and my stomach was as big as it was giving birth to my son. I decided it was time for the Anemia. As much as it was going to hurt ...it couldn't be much worse then the pain I was experiencing now. I went in to do the deed and ... I still didn't go! Never in my life have I had this happen. I'm not sure what is going on but it's not good. As soon as I got on the toilet I hear a voice yell, "Mommy, where are you?" Ohhhh no, for sure it was over now. My son ran in to tell me his usual requests to turn on the TV and get his juice and find his toys, etc etc. I jumped up and followed him downstairs to start my daily mommy duties. Never did I imagine that constipation was a part of being a mom. There just isn't time to relax and go.
I started the daily routine of my son yelling, "no not that juice, that juice". "No, I don't want toast, I want Num Num's (candy)". I reply with the usual, "No" and then the screaming starts and it always ends the same way. He gets timeout and decides that the juice that I gave him was better then no juice at all.
Now it's time to get him dressed. Sometimes my husband does this for me in the morning (which is a real treat) but when he comes out in the same clothes from yesterday I wonder if it's really worth it. I always tell my husband and he replies with, "I know". I think it has to do with the fact that he does the laundry and doesn't drop him off so it's fine with him.
We fight about getting in the car and my son runs in and out of the house screaming before I grab him up and throw him in the car seat. He screams and we are off to school. He talks the entire way about what we see on our daily drive. Will there be a horsie on the way? Will he see the same cow that is out in front of the neighbors house that he always does. He yells to tell me that the same chairs that have been sitting in front of the neighbors yard are still there. He wants to know where the puppy is that was walking down the street yesterday but isn't there today. You know the usually two year old questions and comments.
I'm late today and it's a bad thing because I might have the chance to get out of this stay at home mom phase and move back into the working mom world. I have a job interview for the first time in weeks. I get on the road to rush to the interview and find out that it's Nascar weekend so everyone and their motorhomes are coming through to see the race.
I make it to the interview with 10 minutes to spare. Ahhh, it's a good feeling to be on time and I'm ready to go get that job. On my way into the interview I notice a black bird flying overhead. Then another bird swooping down and another and another. In fact the birds are surrounding me as I walk by the glass window building. I start to panic as one dives toward my head. I wonder if the birds are attacking each other or after me. It becomes really apparent that they're after me when one of the birds swoops down and pecks me on the head. I grab my head to see if I'm bleeding but just then another one comes in from the right and hits the other one. It's straight out of the movie, "The Birds". I'm totally being attacked and I make a run for it with my heels and briefcase in hand. I'm cutting through the grass and notice that people can see me from inside the building. I don't care as I begin to scream and run as fast as I can to the other side of the building. The birds don't give up and still come straight for my head with loud screeching sounds, "Oh my God, HELP!" I'm yelling at the top of my lungs but nobody comes out to help me. I begin swinging my briefcase at the birds and start to fall as they attack me from all angles. I have NEVER in my life been attacked by birds or have seen anyone attacked except in the movies. I start to cry as I can't get away and I finally see the front door of the building. I make a run for it and get inside. My hair is sticking up all over and blood is running down the back of my hair. I'm huffing and puffing and tell the receptionist what just happened. She starts to laugh and so do I as I realize what has just happened. The birds were protecting a nest outside and I happened to walk by their babies at the wrong time.
The receptionists at the front desk says my name and I tell her that I'm here for an interview. She hands me the paperwork to fill out and looks for the best pen that she can find. She hands me the pen and I begin to fill out the application. I get through the first page and decide to look down at my hand and I discover that my hand is covered in blue ink. I yell, "shit", right in the office. I jump up and the ink is running down my arm and on to my shirt. The receptionist laughs again and hands me a new pen and throws the leaking one away. She asks me if I want to use the restroom inside the building and hands me a "guest pass". I really didn't want to be walking throught the building with dripping ink so when she hands me some liquid soap, I take it. I lather my blue arm with the soap and scrub off the ink. I pull my jacket shut and the HR person comes out to start the interview. Needless to say, I don't think I will be getting a call back anytime soon.
It was 12:30 by the time I got home and time for swim lessons once again. My son was covered in dirt when I picked him up from school and there was no time to clean up. It was off to the pool for another traumatizing day of getting into a bathing suit and my son choking me from not wanting to swim. Sure enough he screamed the entire session of swim class and when it was over, he decided to start dunking his head under water and showing off. It was unfortunate that everyone was gone so nobody saw that he really could follow the lesson. I on the other hand was very proud and took him home for what hopefully will be a long nap.