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Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Back at Swim Class

Guess what? We started our second session of swim class today. It actually went pretty smooth. My son graduated to actually using a noodle in the pool and he was jumping in without pulling my top off. I call that progress. The only slight issue was that half way through the class he started grunting and I knew that he had to go poop. In fact he was doing it right there and then in the pool. I yelled for him to stop and he grunted and turned red again. We jumped out of the pool and ran for the bathroom. He did go a little in the swim diaper but saved up some for the potty as well so he yelled a few embarrassing sentences like, "Mama, you go poop too now." And then he followed up with, "Mommy, stop wiping my butt so hard, it hurts." Then the last one which was the worst, "Oh MOMMY, you dropped some of my poop on the floor." Yeah, having kids is great!

We ran back to the pool quickly as the class is only 25 minutes long and I believe our bathroom visit took up about 15 minutes or so. Once we jumped back in the pool, one of the other kids seemed to have swallowed too much water. His mom dunked him under the water and he came up choking and didn't stop until I saw projectile vomit fly out of his mouth. His mom tried to catch it as any good mom would do but I did see quite a bit land in the pool. The little boy followed up with, "Mommy, I barfed in the pool". It was now official...he barfed and we were all swimming in it. The smell alone almost made me drown but we motored on and finished out the class. It didn't seem to bother my son one bit.

Later in the woman's locker room, my son stood next to me while I quickly dressed. I was smart this time and made him get ready outside before attempting to take him into the locker room. In fact, I would have done the same except that I can't take my clothes off by the pool without others stopping to wonder what the hell I was doing. The barfer was inside the locker room getting ready and his mom apparently didn't mind getting him dressed inside. He wasn't the one yelling, "that woman has a poopy butt" last swim session. My son walked over to his naked friend and said to him in front of all of the old ladies, "Is that your butt?" The little boy replied with, "No, it's my penis". My son then yelled as loud as possible, "That is your penis?" The little boy replied, "Yes, it's not my butt. Where is your penis?" The mom was calm and told both of the boys that she thought they were funny. I on the other hand, yelled to my son, "Get over here." Again, I quickly threw on my bra and ran for the locker room exit. The older ladies looked as horrified as ever and I quickly thought about how I could avoid the locker room all together next time.

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