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Tuesday, July 25, 2006

More than one Accident

People talk about how much kids change your life or that it's not your life anymore once you bring a child into the world. The one thing that nobody seems to mention is the amount of excitement and spontaneity that it brings, which brings me to my next subject... Accidents! It's one thing when you or your husband fall and get hurt but it's a totally different thing when it happens to you child. The first thing that you do is look at each other to decide who to blame. This time was different and there was nobody to blame because the darn thing was just a freak accident.

Our son was playing in the house and running with his stick horse yelling, "giddy up, giddy up horsie". My husband and I were both sick in the 112 degree weather and laying on opposite couches in the family room. Our son ran by and tripped on the stick of the horse and fell right into the fireplace ledge. His forehead hit the middle of the wood just right and we heard a big thump! My husband picked him up and held him as he cried with his hands over the spot where he hit. When he pulled his hands off I heard my husband make a "Urgh!" noise. He pointed the head at me where all the blood was dripping down his little face. It looked like someone hit him with an ax. The poor little guy was really hurt and we did what every good parent does...we panicked. My husband ran him to the sink and I grabbed a towel and told him to put it over the wound to stop the bleeding. He added pressure so we could see how deep the cut actually was and stitches were in order. My husband ran to the car and I ran in and out of the house four times looking for shoes, a wallet, car keys, etc. It's funny how fast you can actually find things when your child is in need. I jumped into the drivers seat and we were off and running. My husband just held him in his arms and my son wasn't crying but asking if he was going to get num num's after the hospital. It was like a drunk asking for a beer.

We got to the hospital and I realized that since we were potty training that day, we didn't have any diapers on him. He was in his underwear and was most likely going to pee all over the hospital. The doctor was in the front when we arrived and didn't even bat an eye at the blood runnng down our sons face. He kept watching the tennis match on TV and we sat in the waiting room just letting the blood cover the shirts of my son and husband. Waiting, waiting, waiting! At that moment as a parent you want to yell, "EXCUSE ME BUT DOES ANYONE CARE THAT MY SON'S HEAD IS SPLIT OPEN AND HIS BRAINS MIGHT BE FALLING OUT ON YOUR EMERGENCY ROOM FLOOR". I guess not because we were called in about 5 minutes later and sent to a room...calmly.

A male nurse came in the room to take my son's vital signs and my son asked me, "What is that lady doing?" Now I'm sure that male nurses have an issue with being called ladies and my son didn't purposely do this as he calls everyone a lady...even the Harley man at the gas station. It really is embarrassing to say the least to have to say in front of them, "No honey, that isn't a lady it's a man...see his mustache"? The man just smiled and my son asked me to rock a bye baby him (which in his terms means to hold him and rock him back and forth). We waited and finally the doctor came in after my son's head was shaved by the male nurse and his vital signs taken. We were all barking like dogs because of our colds so I'm sure they wanted to get us out quickly. I asked my son if he had to use the restroom (to avoid the accident waiting to happen) but he said no and then opted to try it because the bathroom looked cool. He didn't go!

The doctor asked me to hold him and his arms down while he stitched it up. I was shaking but my son was fine and not even a tear. He watched the needle go in and out and waited for the doctor to finish. It was all done in about 50 minutes and we were headed out when we heard the ambulance pull up with an elderly lady inside. The doctors rushed around and the male nurse asked what the case coming in was and the reply went like this, "uhhh, it's an extreme case of constipation." They didn't even bat an eyelash...I was like, "WHAT"? The doctors all sat there with a toddler who was bleeding out the head and the lady who can't take a shit is rushed in by ambulance...something is seriously wrong with our healthcare system.

We went home and no potty accident and no crying...it was perfect. Then about a half hour after being home my husband comes in to get me off of the phone with my parents. It seems that my son decided not to use his potty even after we got home to the convenience of his own potty. He hid in the corner and went in his new underwear. These aren't potty training undies but the thin kind that most of us wear. My husband giggled and went into the house as I carried my son into the backyard and ripped off his soiled pants. Yes, it was a blow out in the shorts with an ending of a solid turd. I looked at my husband who watched from the inside and asked if I should throw the soiled pants away. He smiles and says, "No, just rinse them out". I don't know why I listened but I did and I was hosing kids, dogs, undies and shorts for what seemed hours. My son laughed and ran through the yard naked and wet. My husband had stopped watching and went on with his day and there I stood cleaning up all of the shit once again!

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